Yesterday was a bad day
The day started with Tom getting stung by a wasp. On the lip. He was standing on the crossbar of the swingset and talking into the pipe that runs across the top. Turns out there is a wasps' nest in there. He didn't even know what had happened. Neither did I for the longest time. He started crying and trying to climb down from his perch. I could tell from his tears that he was really hurt, and I assumed he had hit his mouth on the pipe. When I examined his face, I fully expected to see a missing tooth, or at the very least, lots of blood. But there was nothing but a little red spot just under his lower lip. I asked if he bumped his mouth. No. Did he bite his lip? No. What happened? I don't know! After a minute or so his lip started to swell like you wouldn't believe. It just blew up like a balloon! Who knew skin can stretch so far. That's when I realized he must have been stung by something. Luckily it only took half an hour for the swelling to go back down. Some Tylenol and he was pretty much over it.
The rest of the day was not nearly so dramatic. The biggest problem was that the kids were being wild and uncontrollable . . . well . . . brats! They would not cooperate with anything I wanted them to do. They were constantly making as much noise as they could, and fighting with each other. To make matters worse, I agreed to let the neighbor-girl come over. Not a good plan on a bad day. She read Katie's diary, which upset Katie no end. The diary has been violated and isn't really a diary anymore and now she needs a new one. She tore pages out of Tom's beloved notepad. Mind you, the notepad was not beloved until after the desecration occurred. Still, not the best playdate.
As suppertime approached the day took a turn for the worse. We had plans to go out to eat. The kids had some free meal coupons they got from the library, and with Matt out of town, I thought we could redeem a couple of those and only have to buy one adult meal (what a cheapskate I've become). As I was trying to get the kids ready to go, I realized that I was asking for a meal from hell to take these guys into a restaurant. I threatened that if they didn't calm down we wouldn't go. Tom answered my threat by kicking Katie in the head. I had no choice but to cancel the outing. Everyone (Mama too) was bummed.
Then I realized that we were out of cat food, and so we had to go to the grocery store or our cat would turn ugly and start stalking us for his supper (he is very food-oriented). It was, like 95 degrees out. Everyone was feeling miserable. No one wanted to go. But cat food wasn't all we were out of We went. To Aldi.
At Aldi you have to be with it. You have to be prepared. You have to have a quarter to get a cart. I didn't have one. We went inside and got change. Back outside to get the cart. Back inside. We got about three steps into the store when Tom announced he had to potty. We worked our way through the maze of the store to the restrooms. Then back through the maze to the cart. Then I realized that I did not have my list. Nor did I have much money. At Aldi you pay with cash or a debit card. We have a debit card. Somewhere. I think. So, not only did I not know what exactly I needed to buy, but I knew I couldn't buy very much of it.
As I was realizing that I really wasn't prepared to be in Aldi, Tom started pulling crackers off the shelf, while Katie was singing at the top of her lungs. Then it struck me. All day I had been the victim of my own bad parenting. Through sheer laziness I had drifted into a pattern that goes a little like this: Kid misbehaves. "Please don't do that" Kid does it again. "Hey, I said stop that." Again. "I mean it now. Stop." Once more. "Do you hear me? Don't do that!" Ten more times. "That's it! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! (long tirade) You sit in the chair right now!" This happens to me when my attention isn't really on the children and the whole interaction is almost below the conscious level until I am really steamed and yelling.
Feeling like someone turned the lights on in my head, I made a choice, right there in Aldi to grow up, calm down and take control. Can't you just hear the inspirational music swelling in the background? Acting up meant time in the cart (my kids hate to be confined in the cart when we are somewhere as exciting as the grocery store). No second chances! I know. It sounds harsh. Cruel, perhaps. But everyone was cheerfully getting along by the time we paid.
Then we drove home and ate cereal for supper. Cereal because the kids wanted to make their own supper. It was the best cereal I've ever eaten.
The rest of the day was not nearly so dramatic. The biggest problem was that the kids were being wild and uncontrollable . . . well . . . brats! They would not cooperate with anything I wanted them to do. They were constantly making as much noise as they could, and fighting with each other. To make matters worse, I agreed to let the neighbor-girl come over. Not a good plan on a bad day. She read Katie's diary, which upset Katie no end. The diary has been violated and isn't really a diary anymore and now she needs a new one. She tore pages out of Tom's beloved notepad. Mind you, the notepad was not beloved until after the desecration occurred. Still, not the best playdate.
As suppertime approached the day took a turn for the worse. We had plans to go out to eat. The kids had some free meal coupons they got from the library, and with Matt out of town, I thought we could redeem a couple of those and only have to buy one adult meal (what a cheapskate I've become). As I was trying to get the kids ready to go, I realized that I was asking for a meal from hell to take these guys into a restaurant. I threatened that if they didn't calm down we wouldn't go. Tom answered my threat by kicking Katie in the head. I had no choice but to cancel the outing. Everyone (Mama too) was bummed.
Then I realized that we were out of cat food, and so we had to go to the grocery store or our cat would turn ugly and start stalking us for his supper (he is very food-oriented). It was, like 95 degrees out. Everyone was feeling miserable. No one wanted to go. But cat food wasn't all we were out of We went. To Aldi.
At Aldi you have to be with it. You have to be prepared. You have to have a quarter to get a cart. I didn't have one. We went inside and got change. Back outside to get the cart. Back inside. We got about three steps into the store when Tom announced he had to potty. We worked our way through the maze of the store to the restrooms. Then back through the maze to the cart. Then I realized that I did not have my list. Nor did I have much money. At Aldi you pay with cash or a debit card. We have a debit card. Somewhere. I think. So, not only did I not know what exactly I needed to buy, but I knew I couldn't buy very much of it.
As I was realizing that I really wasn't prepared to be in Aldi, Tom started pulling crackers off the shelf, while Katie was singing at the top of her lungs. Then it struck me. All day I had been the victim of my own bad parenting. Through sheer laziness I had drifted into a pattern that goes a little like this: Kid misbehaves. "Please don't do that" Kid does it again. "Hey, I said stop that." Again. "I mean it now. Stop." Once more. "Do you hear me? Don't do that!" Ten more times. "That's it! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! (long tirade) You sit in the chair right now!" This happens to me when my attention isn't really on the children and the whole interaction is almost below the conscious level until I am really steamed and yelling.
Feeling like someone turned the lights on in my head, I made a choice, right there in Aldi to grow up, calm down and take control. Can't you just hear the inspirational music swelling in the background? Acting up meant time in the cart (my kids hate to be confined in the cart when we are somewhere as exciting as the grocery store). No second chances! I know. It sounds harsh. Cruel, perhaps. But everyone was cheerfully getting along by the time we paid.
Then we drove home and ate cereal for supper. Cereal because the kids wanted to make their own supper. It was the best cereal I've ever eaten.
posted by Cindy at 9:29 PM
1 Comments:
It's amazing how our mood affects how the kids act. I think we are all guilty of unconscious parenting.
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